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Eros


I am often asked for dating advice.  At the risk of putting the carriage before the horse, I am going to start with what may be the most make or break part of the average date. There are a few things that are important for a woman to know when she goes home with you.

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1. You understand and are prepared to practice safe sex.  You can opt to deliver this message verbally ahead of time but I am somewhat shy and not so great at discussing it (I tend to blush) so I let my decorative decisions do the talking for me.  I can assure you, this approach has not gone unappreciated as I have had to make use of and replace the display on a number of occasions if you catch my drift.

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2. You have a sensitive side. Note the subtle placement of the scented Yankee Candle. When you enlarge the photo you will note a variety of personal lubricants that have been strategically placed within the candle. There are a couple of subtleties in play here.  Women *love* scented candles. In order to light this particular one the lubricants must be removed and placed out in plain sight. This helps build the tension in a way that is both organic and romantic without being too crass or pushy. Additionally, draw her attention to your bookshelf by discussing your latest favorite author but have a copy of that “Fifty Shades of Grey” book prominently displayed. Trust me on that one. Take note of the headphones at the corner of the headboard. Not every lady is going to share your taste in “mood” music so it is considerate to offer her this option in case she wants to listen to the Soundtrack to Titanic or some other such erection-killing nonsense. 

3. You are real. With today’s over-styled, machismo lacking male becoming the norm you need to go in the opposite direction.  The market is starving right now for what would traditionally be known as a “real” man but today is derisively put down by progressive types as a “neanderthal”, “mouth breather”, etc.  Skip the cologne, skip the deodorant and try not to shower more than once a week. It has been proven that pheromones are where it is at and fragrances like Axe, Old Spice and the like have been found to cause vaginal dryness. Leave the perfume to the ladies.

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Love is real……

Love is real……

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8 replies and counting….

8 replies and counting….

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And the Lord’s wisdom shall rain down upon them like a golden shower from Heaven…

Fetish dating sites are a good place to spread the gospel. The Bible is surprisingly fetish friendly.

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So apparently these monkeys are about as fuckable as my Barbie collection.  All I’ve gotten in response so far is rejection and bewilderment.

So apparently these monkeys are about as fuckable as my Barbie collection.  All I’ve gotten in response so far is rejection and bewilderment.